Losing my babies - a journey into the past and the future

Sept 13th The only emotion I feel when the realisation strikes is shock and disbelief. To think that the world carries on, in spite of the huge vaccum.....how did it all come about ...how did all that disappear into a void......how can people so easily disappear from our lives...never to be seen or touched again? My babies. The most precious experiences my life has seen. Already gone. Or going away. Forever. The adults they are replaced with are totally different entities and do not really qualify as good substitutes. The only real gift the babies have left behind are memories. And they come to me in my semi-sleep state sometimes. Where I can hug them and snuggle into them and love them with my fingers and my eyes. Bliss and fulfilment fill up those moments. As it did when they filled my arms and my soul. This half-awake state - is it reality or is it memory? There is no joy equal to that of having babies to love and dote on. And no heartache greater than watching them suffer. And no heartbreak greater than losing them.

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